Like many I was not a perfect parent during the preliminary growing years of my children. But I’m a quick learner. I kept my eyes open, acknowledged my mistakes as and when they happened and rectified my ways immediately.

So today, let me share with you, places and instances of where I went wrong; the repercussions and my learnings from the mistakes I made so that you all can possibly avoid making them as well. 

I learnt that as parents, we need to guide our children on how to make right decisions. A few suggestions to help them with what’s written above, when you want your child to get dressed for a party, take out few pairs of clothes and ask them to pick one out of it, this will help them learn how to decide; when they want a new game, give them a set range in which they can buy and let them explore in the aisle of the toy store by themselves etc.

I did it all, I let them pick, I kept a close watch on what they decided. They decided how I wanted them to. I felt good that my children were making decisions. They felt good and empowered that they can make decisions. They grew up to the age where they started becoming independent and then it all began. They became overconfident, a little arrogance and adamancy started showing in their behavior whenever they were pointed out for their mistakes. I was worried and felt miserable, was my hard work all for nothing? My thoughts blamed my children, blamed their friends, surroundings and more. The whole world seemed as if it was conspiring against me and my dedication as a parent.

WHAT WENT WRONG? DID I MISS SOMETHING?

– I made them feel empowered by letting them decide what I controlled without giving them tools to make mindful decisions.

– I got busy in letting them decide but missed out on giving them the understanding of how to take the right decisions.

– I made them choose what I wanted them to choose without helping them to be aware of what they want and why they want it.

– I let them decide what I felt was required but failed to give them an understanding of what is required and why it is required.

– I gave them a false feeling of empowerment without giving them the knowledge of what empowerment means.

– I told them about what is right and wrong but I missed out on teaching them to think why it is right and wrong.

I realized that as parents when we have our own fixed ways in mind of what our children should do and how they should do it and then based on that ask them to decide with those narrow and restricted choices, the decisions taken will only make them feel empowered but never give them an understanding of why and for what they took the decision. 

Later in life, with this false sense of empowerment and lack of understanding, one will realize the quality of decisions taken. When someone is truly empowered, they have the ability to do what’s necessary within their scope of skills & values.

If we will not help them with the understanding of what being empowered truly means, they will not taste the flavor of knowledge and experience, and in that case they will sail towards a hurricane unarmed. 

Do you want your children to feel empowered in true sense? Then help them think right, tell them what empowerment truly means and how it should be decorated with right understanding and positive experiences before they showcase it’s power. 

True empowerment helps you own the decisions and that can happen only when we believe in our ability, stay anchored to values, have the ability to think and act according to the needs.